Learning To Run
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I like to believe that I do a pretty good job of hiding my emotions, but it always seems that Sash is able to read me like a book. Sometimes I think there's just no use in trying to be something that I'm not.
So when she started riding figure eights in the parking lot I found myself stuffing those emotions deep down inside.
"Just don't crash!" I kept saying in my head.
But as it turned out, she didn't crash.
Running away is the hardest part. It's always what you leave behind, not what you hope to find, that always keeps us tempered. How is that we keep holding on to the things that hold us back? How is that we return time and time again to that which only makes us frustrated, angry, and miserable?
The truth is that Sash and I have been running all our lives, not necessarily away from our friends and families, but away in our souls. Instead of standing up to the demons that haunted us, we tried to run away from it by putting on a different face and showing the people around us what they wanted to see.
I suppose if we were stronger we'd stay put and deal with those demons.
But why stay put? The demons are inside us.
Learning to run is not run away, but to run like there's no boundaries. It's to look as far as the mind can imagine and then chase it with all your heart. Once you've broken down the walls that have surrounded you, you can run forever and forever.
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